Rejected petition For Parliament to inform Samantha Brick that she is 'not attractive'

The public must be noted, informed and warned about the prowling self-professed 'beauty' of Samantha Brick.

Men in the UK must heed warnings that Samantha Brick is in fact not worth the expense of a bottle of champagne or a bouquet of roses.

Mrs Brick falls amongst the following parameters:

a) a merely mediocre journalist whose writings consist of witless self-promotion and details of self-induced suffering,
b) a 'happily married' woman, so save the flowers for your wives and your dignity for another day,
c) in possession of a smile that is not worthy of the term 'pleasing', and
d) a woman deluded by her own 'apparent' beauty who rates 5/10.

This petition requests that Parliament:

a) Inform Mrs Brick that she does 'not have game',
b) Order Mrs Brick to join the cast of Loose Women as the shows resident embittered alcoholic,
c) Request the removal of all mirrors from her household,
d) Lead it up for discussion during Prime Ministers Questions.