Rejected petition Clone Sir David Attenborough

With the recent death of Sir Patrick Moore we are confronted by the fact that within the next 20 years our TV will simply be a platform for every fake tanned, narcissistic, talentless, power hungry, eye brow plucked to near death, vacuous celebrity wannabe to get a cheap 10 minutes of fame alongside pointless "talent" shows.

The gradual effect this is having on society is a reduction in our scientific and engineering base and an increase in annoying people who think that it's acceptable to wear onesies outside.

We the undersigned propose that Sir Attenborough should have his DNA stored for future cloning. By making clones of Sir Attenborough we will ensure that top quality nature programmes continue and will spark the interests of future generations for years to come.

Brian Cox smiling into a camera with the sun shining behind him saying "million billion trillion" over and over again in his soothing Mancunian accent will not be enough to battle the tide of cultural banality.