Rejected petition Disconnect all Liverpudlians from the Internet

The Internet is a harsh environment for any Liverpudlian, whether they actually live in Liverpool or extol its unquestionable virtues by living elsewhere on a long-term basis. There are wicked people on the Internet that dare tell Liverpudlians that their city and way of life is not, in fact, perfect and utopian, and that the many stereotypes associated with the region have strong basis in fact.

Liverpudlians must be protected from this harsh reality and those who would seek to disseminate it over a public data communication network. The only way to ensure this apparently necessary level of protection is to immediately disconnect every person who was born in Liverpool, grew up in Liverpool, lives in Liverpool or otherwise claims to be Liverpudlian from the Internet.

We must stand by the people of Liverpool and ensure that they do not learn the inconvenient facts and truths about their own existence. The Internet can only bring misery to this city and it must be stopped.